Finally I decided to let her hear my thoughts and she went ballistic on me!! 😳😀😂
I am not sad for me, but sad for the other person who attacked me 10 minutes into midnight before we could drink water (as no wine nor champagne in this household) to the welcoming cheer of 2018 as I wasn’t at a party. I wasn’t with friends either. I wasn’t at my cosy and lovely home. I chose to spend it with my sister-in-law! What a naive choice! Being a widow herself living with her three grandchildren as their mom is overseas at the moment, will be back 4th and they are the closest to me in my family circle, I was all uplifted because we haven’t seen each other for 1 year over. I gave my Bed & Breakfast guests of the three rooms of my villa for their use so they could enjoy the whole premises without me being present in their celebration with family and friends on this holiday of 3 days including the New Year’s Eve… to their maximum delight. When guests are happy in my home, that makes me happy too as a result. And thus, to be spending with my sister-in-law, wife of my late eldest brother was ideal, so I thought, although gloomy, but proper nonetheless. Above all for the kids who ranges between a teenage girl and the two into their early 20’s boys. Besides, their house is only a 20-min ride from here when there’s no traffics.
Well, this sister-in-law by the name of S, has always been one who I trust to always have good communication with and also confiding in now and then but more so now since the last visit of mine here in 2015 – 2016. Thinking that we both are widows now after all, things could be more of a kindred-spiritness connection between us thus closer even more?
I do have to blame myself that not everyone has the finesse of understanding diplomacy therefore, it could be my fault that I have always applied that and a pleaser to add as well, to a certain degree so just to avoid conflicts and be agreeable even on things I detest hearing? Last night, I wasn’t prepared to hear the broken record so soon after returning here and on New Year’s Eve no less coming out from her mouth again. And so I finally quipped back that this is the very thing, very kind of conversation is why I don’t like being here in Jakarta for having to hear these slight remarks from her every time we are together!! But at this time? At 10 minutes before midnight!!
S has always had this tendency to take control of any situation according to her regime and belief as she feels she is always the right one, leader of the packs by age, but also giving her the license to spread disparaging observational remarks to anyone or anyone or anything and last but not least, to yours truly… the un-welcomed comment at most awkward times. However, we always sort of let them pass from one ear to another or in other word, ignored of her classless action given her behaviours or talks on some topics, never mind. We have always had to swallow with smiles just because we believe in sincerity, respect and love, her, being elderly and so would be playful and tease back acceptingly with whatever unpleasant remarks she disses out.
Last night I had sort of enough. Also because this is one of the main reasons why I would have preferred to continue on living in Milan, Italy, rather than be back here into this type of unhealthy ambience as to be surrounded by my “family” when we really don’t speak the same language any longer as in our perceptions but this S’s desire to always steer everything according to her rules every time we are with her. She being the wife of my eldest late brother, we as those younger, complied. It’s the general custom here.
I just arrived back in Jakarta a week ago. I am tired as I had to close my apartment there so a lot of packing, removal jobs entailed… and now I finally concluded with success, feeling satisfied and accomplished… here I am listening to this same old broken record again giving me her disparaging remarks just what she’s done every time I am with her. She finds it disturbing that I am in my happy-go-lucky personality and perhaps seeing me being too euphoric always? How I discovered the truth! And this is one: Happy people drive negative people beserk. Thus for my attackers as always been the manipulative negative persons. And so it happened! This time I had enough so I decided to answer back saying stop now because for this very thing why I never liked to be in Jakarta because I can’t be myself but being criticised for how I look or what I wear so I could follow her steps, just like those under her… all awkward without personality because then, she holds the reign.
She suddenly raised HELL!! On seeing and realising that i dissed out my criticism of her in her face but in still a bantering playful way. After a while I reiterated and that’s when she threw gauntlet!! Wow! I have never seen her behave like that before… because for the same reason that we never clashed ever!! Bantering a bit on a peripheral unpleasantries, yes, and that was the furthest.
This time, I protested and all hells broke lose!!
Suddenly she came up with all these accusations, losing control of herself in the interim, saying, “You’re too Westernised!! You think you’re perfect!! Yes, you speak 3 languages!! Your brother said you’re strong-headed!! Go back to Italy!! Go back and leave Indonesia!! Bla bla bla… bla..!!” And suddenly she banged her fist against the dining table lol… loosing absolute control of herself and even acted like a man and all I said was just answering her in a mild manner that made her even crazier.
I said, “wow… you’re being nationalistic.”
She just went on and on and on until her grandsons and grand-daughter ushered her slowly but they too are scared of her… into her bedroom! And there I was sat there and wondering, what just happened? Lol… in the living room’s sofa in this hot house and uncomfortable surroundings with mouth half-opened, under shock… watching her helplessly walking feably (as she can’t walk w normal stride of steps but little short steps due to a disease in her knees or wherever)… and off she disappeared into the bedroom.
In the meantime I have already promised to sleep over and the the grand daughter kept me company into the bedroom and chatted some more while apologising profusely every once in a while but also the grandsons who are so mature -ike in handling the situation by asking me for my understanding of the grandmother’s age etc. After all, she did that to them too and their mother but I told them, they are under her care financially. Not me! How ridiculous was that, me leaving my beautiful villa with my beautiful Bed & Breakfast guests who are so friendly, respectful, kind and so understanding, for this envious nasty woman in her cooped up bedroom and dirty bathroom where I stayed all night till 6 am before the grand-daughter woke up to call an Uber taxi for me as I had asked to a few hours early. I was thinking, am I the one who is stupid here? To give up comfort and amazing NYE in my own Villa for this bitter and vindictive woman telling me to go back to Italy without realising I am also an Indonesian? And there she was ordering me to leave this country!! Now I understand why her life did not come to fruition according to her dreams. She harbours negativities and unfair judgements inside her. She’s bullying! She’s manipulative!
It’s an eye-opener to me to realise that now I understand there was something always uncomfortable with her even though I have always been very open and honest with her out of trust, yet, in all this time, she has been harbouring such anger and yes, we could call it a jealousy… inside her towards me all this time.
How miserable this person is.
No wonder no maids lasted with her.
No drivers lasted either.
A control freak to its tee and trouble if you disagree with her!
I feel sorry for those under her care. I feel sorry for her. I feel sorry for the same comments she seems to come up over and over against me and denies that they were complementary. As if I am that stupid to buy into it and that’s what she’s done to those under her wings.
To this day, they have not developed the proper personality of their own at their age already but just being so passive and compliant under her whims and orders under the camouflage of caring for them too much. Thus being protective so everyone should give her a listen.
But my own daughter has been under her care too as I let. Only because I have always taken her as my own sister. What makes her happy, makes me happy too. But I thought what makes me happy, would make her happy too. She’s a manipulative b….h!!
What a nasty surprise I get on New Year’s Eve 2018 out of this person. Thanks for ruining it!! You of all the people!!
A hatred towards me just like the hatred from my late Italian husband’s sister as well… that they lashed it on me for being so cheerful and happy, loved, courted, pursued, open and free.
A note to myself: “Not everything that makes you happy, Meta, makes the other persons who are close to you, happy too.”
The ugliness of envy and jealousy show their teeth and jump and bite me so bad!! On New Year’s Eve, can anyone believe that??
My eyes are open now for these snakes!! I take it as an enlightenment and thus grateful for it to have happened. Seeing the inside of a person who you thinks cares about you is actually one who can not bear you with your triumphs and victories in life by trying to manipulate them into something of their desire to dominate you to assimilate them into their misery soul of living! A pity!
You sister-in-law… came to the wrong address, you envious piece of s…!! Or soul!! Feel sorry for yourself!