Here I am, the third summer without my dearest husband and the third time I passed here in Milan, Italy, instead of in Jakarta, my other home also – when I was lucky enough to spend the whole summer there in 2016.
For the first one year I find myself on my own with the sudden demise of my husband, Pietro, everything seemed to be easily resolved in terms of all the logistics that had to be taken care as much as the financial situation of my being a widow for the first time who has always been a homemaker all her life during her marriage. First, the sister of my late husband took over all the preliminaries and the funeral on her own without waiting for my arrival from Jakarta, Indonesia, as it happened during my stay there still and my husband had just returned from there to Milan, Italy, one and a half months later. She was told they couldn’t wait for another day for my presence as I only had my ticket booked from Indonesia 5 days after my husband’s death. In some unwitting ways, I came to realisation it couldn’t have done in better ways as they were as it saved me from all the ramifications of having the responsibility to doing it myself where being here in Italy which is still a country that I only know through my husband’s eyes only. Among others, his sister, Angela, has had the experiences of taking care of all the same logistics on the loss of their father and their mother.
Then in 2015, came the end of all the easy life I had, apart from some things that I am very grateful of: 1. The right for me to receive my husband’s 60% pension. 2. The outright owner of our Villa in Jakarta which my husband had heroically paid off all with all his might before he left this world and I. I can’t believe that I have been saved by these significant factors in life that makes life easier except…
It’s been over 2 years now the Villa that I thought would come as my passive income to boot would come to a standstill due to the government’s new rules and regulations that had affected the investment I had to rely on to continue life comfortably which actually was not planned, but only came after the dramatic change took place in my life.
I now have had to put up with juggling on life of living in two countries, only because the apartment in Milan is on rental which changed the whole predicament where I find myself now struggling to make ends meet. In other words, I am stuck between a hard place and a rock, suffice it to say.
Therefore, this summer 2017 again is another summer that I pass in my cozy apartment in Milan without being able to make any move as in the decisive turning point of my life that’s needed taking care.
Both options have its pros and cons that are equally divided that makes the decision I have to take an even harder task to make.
I believe in the Universe in its way to guide me as to the best of the situations and resolves that I am capable of handling. And therefore, my underlying message here is that – surrender… – let nature takes its course and be upbeat in the every day you get to live your life and make the best of every moment you’re in as life is fleeting. The only thing this time is I have to do with more laissez-faire attitude than being too conscientiously deliberate and eager to get the best result and not allowing the Universe leads you the way into the path you are intended to lead. All because of the deeper understanding I’ve been blessed to come to know, yet, it should be allowed to run naturally.
Summer time 2017 is very beautiful to me just the same, learning new things I found on the Internet and continuing on with this blog that I have neglected for the past 2 or 3 years.
I am in the phase of learning to put my life out there as to share with you via Youtube as well as here on my blog with the hope that whatever anything good that can be derived from my experiences could be something that would help or enhance those who needed the most with that same “understated” style and way of my preference.
Hope all of us feel and be better out of all the positive things life has to offer as we all can do it if we only allow it to be.